James 1:2-8

James 1:2 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

I've been meditating on this verse a lot lately as my daily life as a mom presents constant trials for me. I know that my trials of crying or disobedient children pale in comparison to many others but they are certainly tests of my faith these days. So I started wondering what steadfastness was, I've linked it above. The definitions that stuck out to me were "firm in purpose and unwavering and firmly fixed in place." God wants, through my daily challenges, to make me one who is firm in purpose. So what is that purpose? Is it to become perfect and complete as verse 4 suggests? How ever is this possible? Well, apart from God it is not. Verse 5 is quick to say, if you lack wisdom you need to ask God who gives generously to all.

God doesn't want me to know everything, He wants me to ask him. So I don't know what to do when Mercia is crying- again- what matters is that I depend on God in these times not on myself. Being steadfast is not knowing what to do, it is knowing that God is good and that only when I am totally dependant on him will my faith become complete.