Symmetry

A few months ago I noticed that when Jotham builds something with his DUPLO blocks he often makes them perfectly symmetrical.

Symmetry is in one place defined as beauty as a result of balance.

I think I need to take lesson from my boy and gain some symmetry. Balance between what is wanted (a clean house) and what is needed (time spent enjoying each other). Balance between giving direction to my children and trying to control the outcome of every situation. Balance between faith and works.

I am definitely learning, hopefully growing and I know that when the blocks fall (which they always do) the Lord is the one who needs to pick them up and put them back together again.



* Picture- Jotham with his dragon, he even makes sure the shading of color is correct. In this picture the dark green and the light green feet are symmetrical front to back.

Soak it up

This spoke to my soul today.

Psalm 16

I have long loved Psalms 16:5-6 but this morning was really ministered to by whole psalm in its entirety. I copied it below and highlighted some of the verses that stand out with some thoughts below.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.
The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips.
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

In this season where my circumstances are unclear my hearts needs to be set on my God. It is in him that I find my heart glad. No matter what the outcome of Erik's health or our son's birth, God has not and will not abandon us. He has made known to us the most important thing through his son, Jesus. He has given us life in him and it is in his presence that there is the fullness of joy. How true I find this to be. When I am tempted to think about my circumstances I can become anxious and easily fall into self-pity but when I focus on the Lord, remember his goodness and kindness toward me in all things my heart is at peace.

Truly, Lord, I have no good apart from you.

Product vs. Process

My oldest, dear sweet Karis, turned 5 on November 15th. For her birthday, I've been sewing her new curtains for her room and drapes for her canopy bed. With some health issues going on with Erik I haven't had the time to work on these as quickly as I wanted but I finally finished them! It felt so good to have produced something. I get HUGE satisfaction out of being productive.

As I was reflecting on my satisfaction in my completed job the Lord brought to me a basic problem with my thinking. The role he has called me to has less to do with the product and more to do with the process. It is less about the clean house and more about how it gets clean. It is less about seemingly obedient children and more faithful, joyful mothering.

Genesis 4 gives the lineage of Cain, who murdered his brother. In verses 21-22, we read about those who came from Cain and see they are known by what they do, one who plays the lyre and pipe, forger of bronze and iron. In contrast, Genesis 5 gives the lineage of Seth, who was a child of promise, in verse 24 it tells of Enoch. "Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him." I've long been challenged by these verses. Am I known by what I do, what I produce? Or by whose I am, who I walk with?

In these days with small children it is so easy to get satisfaction from the wrong places. A very wise pastor's wife encouraged me the other day when she shared from Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." She pointed out the emphasis in the verse is not the on the outcome of the good but on the not giving up. How I desire to not give up in doing good. It is only by his grace that any of us with reap the harvest we desire. Peace, rest, satisfaction need to come from Him alone.

9/11

Psalm 34: 18 says, The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Today when I was starting our school day I was showing the kids the calendar and writing today's date on our white board- September 11th. Their lives began after the tragic events that mark this day in history. They will never know the intense emotions of this day as those who sat and watched in horror as the events unfold.

Someday they'll be old enough to comprehend the loss of that day. It is my hope that we will not forget and we will be able to train them to understand the greatness of God even through such horrible suffering and loss.

Qualify

I recently posted some quotes from some home schools books I have been reading. I thought I should give some explanations as to why these quotes stuck out to me. They basically stuck out to me because I battle with pride, self-righteousness and sinful comparison and I felt like these quotes touched on how these sins could easily come out for me in the education realm.

For example, the tendency to compare my children to someone else to see if they are "on track." This could be in something educational or in something behavioral. The question for me to be constantly asking myself is, "Am I setting the standard for my kids or myself based on what I observe in others and/or their children or am I trying to obey what God has called me to? Am I walking in faith toward the Lord, seeking his approval or am I seeking the approval of others?"

So the quote about educational testing is simply a good reminder to me of what is really important- not that my kids are "smarter" than other kids or even "just the same" as others but that we are seeking to grow in what God has called us to, whether that be reading, math or the pursuit of the spiritual disciplines. I do understand that educational testing has a place and I don't plan on not testing my kids when needed and or required. But I hope when I do I am able to hold onto the big picture and not lose sight of what matters most.

The other quote on fragments of information is healthy reminder to me that I don't know anything. Even as I read all these books on parenting or home schooling, I have only just skimmed the surface and I have so much to learn, understand and apply. I truly need to grow in applying humility in my life and not thinking I pridefully "know" something because I have read a book or two, seen a documentary, or read an article.

And the reason I am posting on this now is because, frankly, I am likely to reread those quotes in a few months and forget why they were important to me.

Spring

Another great thought on Spring from a favorite blogger of mine. Wondering how am dieing today so that HE might live?

Parenting Thoughts

I've been reading a lot of parenting books and article lately. I can never get enough instruction in this area. I am constantly in need of reminders to love and train my children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. As a result of my reading, I've been thinking about justice and child training. How respond when my kids are not treated "fairly" and if I am training them to have a biblical world view. So I Karis and I have been talking about these verses from Matthew 5:39-42:

39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. 41 And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you.

This morning I read this, makes me wonder, what would I do in this situation.

Hospitality

We Sheffers love to have guests over. It is something we do often and something we really enjoy. We are grateful to God for providing the means to open our home up to groups both large and small. I grew up in a home that was open to anyone and everyone. My Mom thrives in creating a welcoming home. My hope is that someday my children will also love to open their homes, that they would eagerly embrace 1 Peter 4:9. So it was a great delight the other day to see the table Karis had set.

I was quite impressed with the detail. She actually gave each plate a fork, knife and spoon and put the knife and spoon on the same side. Now I would LOVE to give myself props for teaching her this put that would be just an outright lie, no table I ever set looked that nice!

But then later that same day Karis looked at the kitchen while I was making dinner for just our family and she asked, "Mommy, are we having guests over?" I said, "No, not tonight." She then asked, "Then why is there so much food."

As I reflected on her question I thought why do I make more and better food when we are having guests and then just skimp on our family dinner? Shouldn't I treat the people in my own family as the best guests in the world? Do I delight in making a meal for the most important people in my life and or do I grumble at the work? And then am I really serving others through hospitality? Am I honoring God or myself?

Good questions for me to ponder as I'm sure I'll be serving leftovers sometime again this week (and you can probably imagine it won't be to guests)!

I'd love any thoughts anyone has on how to bless your family through your family meals.

The Lord is Our Righteousness

Our church has been going through the book of Jeremiah and our pastor has encouraged us to read and study the book as we do. Today I was reading in Jeremiah 23:5-6 and was freshly reminded of God's wonderful plan of salvation.

"Behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch, and he shall reign as king and deal wisely, and shall execute justice and righteousness in the land. In his days Judah will be saved, and Israel will dwell securely. And this is the name by which he will be called: 'The Lord is our righteousness.'"

These words written 1000 years before Christ was born testify to me again of God's mercy and grace and remind me that righteousness is mine only in Christ because of his death and resurrection. I cannot earn salvation. It is freely given to me through Christ. How Great He is!

Happy Birthday Karis

November 15th was an exciting day here at our home. Our oldest, sweet Karis, turned 4 years old. It is amazing to us that 4 years have passed so quickly. Four years of watching her turn from a baby into a little girl. Four years of parenting and learning to depend on the Lord more deeply. I cannot even begin to imagine what the next 4 will be like, starting school & growing independence. I am sure that it will all continue to test me in area of trusting the Lord and not myself.

When Karis was born her favorite thing to do was cry, sometimes all day long. I read books, talked to other moms, cried and at times felt helpless. I was trying so hard to control her and when she didn't cooperate my sin would come out. I was trusting in my methods and not in my God. So now four years into parenting I still have lots of methods but by God's grace I am able more to step back and evaluate who I am trusting in. I am learning that parenting is a process and I fight to keep my focus on the goal. A baby who becomes a child who becomes a young woman who loves her Lord and desires to honor Him with her life. And that is my prayer for my girl each day, a deepening knowledge of Christ and a conviction for her need for a savior. All I can do as her mom is be faithful to what God has called me to, plant seeds and water, but it is God who brings growth.

Cinderella Man

A few weeks ago Erik planned a wonderful romantic evening for us at home. He went to the grocery store, picked out food, cooked it, set up a little table for us in the family room with candles and music playing. We had a wonderful time talking and enjoying each other. Then he read me a beautiful poem that he wrote for me and had me in tears. I'm so grateful for this evening with my husband.

Later in the evening we watched the movie Cinderella Man. This a favorite of ours. There are many things about it that I love. The love story between a husband and wife. The character of a man in raising a family in the midst of challenging circumstances. I've also particularly enjoyed the Paul Giamatti's portrayal of Joe Gould, the coach (apart from one sense where he takes the Lord's name in vain repeatedly).

Watching it this time I was struck by a something new. In the boxing senses, the coach is able to see things that the boxer can't. He helps the boxer with his strategy and he encourages him when he thinks he can't go anymore. This was a helpful reminder to me of how much I need the body of Christ in my life. I am in a fight against my sin and because I am getting hit in the face I can't see clearly. I need someone in my corner, someone who is for me, someone who can see what I can't see. I need someone to speak truth to me when I think I can't fight anymore, when I just want to give up. Someone to remind that "in Christ the enemy has already been defeated."

I am so grateful to have my husband and my dear friends as voices of truth in my life. Apart from this grace I am sure that I would have been knocked out long ago.

Hard Work

Dear Little Mercia has just started some finger foods. I went to the store to get some Biter Biscuits for her and discovered that most of these types of food have milk in them. I did find some Apple Wagon Wheels, which she is enjoying in this picture. I like the details of how hard her hands are working to hold onto and eat this little treat- it was hard for her. So hard that she wasn't even able to finish it, it got too small and slippery and she couldn't hold onto it. But someday she'll be able to pick it up with two fingers and stick the whole thing her mouth, chew it, swallow and move on.

Isn't this the stuff of life? God hands us something in our life circumstance. We aren't sure what it is and we tremble with fear and excitement. We grab hold of it and work on it. Sometimes it is such hard work that we want to just give up, not bother. Sometimes even when we work hard we can't get to the end of it. We need to try again the next day.

But the circumstances that God gives us are like this wagon wheel-just the beginning of something. A training ground. If I gave Mercia a real apple she would choke. She doesn't even know yet what is yet to come, all the delicious fruit, and tasty desserts that can be made from them.

Neither do I. I know that life with 3 kids is hard work. I know that everyday I fight hard and something always seem to slip away. Oh Lord, what is yet to come!


Philippians 1:6
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 3:13-14
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Schedule

I recently read the book Manager’s of Their Homes by Teri Maxwell. It has been very helpful to me in thinking about how I run each day. For the last few weeks I have been working on coming up with a more set daily schedule. The reason I am doing this is because I have been convicted that I am not really doing all that God has called me to do. This is not some mere desire to “do it all.” It really isn’t. I have already learned I cannot do it all and so I rarely even try! What I have realized is I am not making the priorities that God has for me my actual priorities. I have been living my life and running my days (& thereby my kids days) to serve myself. I will rush through things so that I can get to whatever it is I want to do (email, nap, etc). I will push off time playing with the kids doing other things (chores, email, etc.) saying to myself that I “need” to get these things done. The other day I had this very convicting thought: I have been called by God to do certain role (being Erik’s wife and our children’s mom) and I am not doing it nearly as well as I would if I had been hired by someone to do something not even half as important. So as I attempt to schedule more I am hopeful that it will bring some accountability into my life for my role. I desire to do things like chores well but more importantly I desire to build relationally with my children. I want to be “all in” the moments I have with them not thinking “I wish I could post or read a blog now” or “I need to fold the laundry.” God please give me grace to be faithful to what you have called me to.

Steam, Pressure and Escape

I read this today and thought it was too wonderful not to share.

Quote of the Day

I recently read The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot. In a chapter on Work & Play I appreciated this quote:

"Ordinary work, which is what most of us do most of the time, is ordained by God every bit as much as is the extraordinary. All work done for God is spiritual work and therefore not merely a duty but a holy privilege."

I don't know about you but there is not much "extraordinary" in my day: diapers, dishes, running noses, etc. It is a good reminder for me that the work God has called me is a privilege.

Home

Heaven is “a Father’s House”- the house of that God of whom Jesus says, “I go to my Father, and your Father.” It is, in a word, home: the home of Christ and Christians. This is a sweet and touching expression. Home, as we all know, is the place where we are generally loved for our own sakes, and not for our gifts or possessions; the place where we are loved to the end, never forgotten and always welcome. This is the idea of heaven.

Heaven is a place of "many mansions." There will be room for all believers and room for all sorts, for little saints as well as great ones, for the weakest believers as well as for the strongest. The feeblest child of God need not fear there will be no place for him. None will be shut out but the impenitent sinners and obstinate unbelievers.

Heaven is a place where Christ Himself shall be present. He will not be content to dwell without His people:- "Where I am, there ye shall be also." We need not think that we shall be alone and neglected. Our Saviour,- our elder Brother,- our Redeemer, who loved us and gave Himself for us, shall be in the midst of us for ever. What we shall see, and whom we shall see in heaven, we cannot fully conceive yet, while we are in the body. But one thing is certain: we shall see Christ.

-JC Ryle commenting on John 14: 1-3

Dear little Micah Man has gone home to be with Jesus. Sweet comfort comes through Christ alone. Please pray for his Mommy & Daddy, his brother & sister, his Maw & Paw, and his Nana & G as well as his large extended family.

Great Thoughts- from Others

I thought I'd post with some links to some blog entries that I've read recently that encouraged my soul. Some of these people I know, some of them I don't. I can say I find it very encouraging to read blogs of other moms. It is hard in here- in our homes- so it helps to know that others are walking the same path with you.

Here are two from Preschoolers & Peace:
So you thought...
Changing

Three from Raising Five:
Set Your Course
Setting My Course-beginning
Setting My Course-desire

From Domestic Life:
Stronghold

From Castro Clan:
Motherhood
What Really Matters

There are more but breakfast is calling.

Refuge

I live my life trying to control my circumstances so that I am not challenged. I make sure the kids nap on time. I avoid taking all of them to the grocery store. The list goes on. I'm sure anyone who reads this blog could add to the list of ridiculous things I do to "control" my world. Feel free to comment and let me know (because I'm sure I'm not even aware of half of it).

The other morning Erik gave me this verse:

"This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." Psalm 18:30

I was immediately struck. Is God my refuge? Do I take refuge in Him? I realized that I am so busy trying to control that I miss the opportunity to find refuge in Him. God doesn't want me not have challenges so much as He wants me to find refuge in Him when those challenges come.

This morning I read Psalm 16 (great Psalm by the way). Verses 1-2 says, "Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;I have no good apart from you.”"

Again, I was struck. Do I really believe this, that I have NO GOOD apart from God? My life reflects the answer is no. When I don't get what I think is good, a break from the kids, not having to wait in line checking out in Walmart, my heart responds in anger. I am certainly not saying (while making lunch for demanding child), I have no good apart from you, Oh Lord.
But God is my refuge and I have no good apart from Him. Good is not a peaceful home, obedient children, errands without inconvenience. Good is God! God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Peace

I've been thinking a lot about peace recently. Why I desire it or should I say crave it? And what exactly it means to me. The Random House dictionary has one definition that sums up my feelings, “freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquillity; serenity.” And yet I live with 3 small children who create many annoyances and distractions. My home is rarely one of tranquillity. I wanted to get a Biblical view of what peace is so I read through about 100 verses that contain the word peace (there are 366 in the bible). There were many great verses that spoke to me and convicted me (too many to mention here). As I was reading I came to this verse in Ephesians.

Ephesians 2:14, For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility.

CHRIST HIMSELF IS OUR PEACE. Peace is not found in my circumstances. It is not found in getting things done without distraction. It is not found in a quiet, orderly home. The fruit of my lack of peace in Him is annoyance, anger, lack of joy, etc. I want something (order, sense of accomplishment) and I’m not getting it. But I need to find my peace in him and not in the circumstances around me. For me that means, putting aside all the other wants and finding contentment and satisfaction in Christ. He has reconciled me to himself. I have peace with God because of what He has done for me on the cross. When I focus on this truth in my daily life, those distractions and annoyances don't matter nearly as much.